New mummy

Alhamdulillah, I am now a mother.

Things didn't go as planned. I delivered Little L a week earlier than my EDD.

It was 2.30am on 23rd May 2019, I had just fallen asleep when I felt my water broke. My first reaction was "oh, no! Not the time yet"

The moment I got up from bed, the fluid gushed out, a lot. I didn't feel any painful regular contraction, just the usual braxton hicks that I have been feeling a lot recently. I took my time to get ready, changed and put a little bit of make up. Then I went to my parents room to wake them up. Of course my mom went into panic mode right away. LOL.

While my parents and Ana got ready, I called Azhar who was in Tawau. That was when I started crying. I didn't want to go into labour alone. Throughout my pregnancy I prayed hard for Azhar to be by my side when I went into labour. I felt like I could not do vaginal delivery alone, I needed him.

On the way to the hospital, we made a stop at 7 Eleven. I grabbed a few buns and milo and ate them in the car. Oh I also had McD banana pie during the ride to the hospital.

I went straight to the labour room. I was attended by a nurse at first. Then the medical officer. This is the perk of being a doctor myself, I got attended by a medical officer instead of a houseman. The houseman was a male, kinda embarrassing if he were to perform a vaginal examination on me.

When I removed my pad to be examined, I noted the liquor has changed colour to yellow. That was not good. It means Little L might not be doing so well inside. I was worried.

The MO confirmed my finding, it was indeed a light meconium. I did a CTG and thankfully CTG was reactive. However, my Bishop score was not favourable. Bishop score is a scoring system that is used to assess the cervix, to see whether it is ready for a vaginal delivery or not. I didn't have any contraction, so unlikely my labour was going to progress any time soon.

The MO and specialist decided that I had to go for a caesarean section. Surprisingly, I felt so relieved.  I know I could go through caesarean section alone without Azhar. I saw the surgery countless times during my service as anaest MO in Hospital Ipoh. I know every single step very well. I was so calm when I told my parents and Azhar that I had to go for caesarean section. Bravo Wani!

I delivered a baby girl, via C-section on 23rd May 2019, 6.24am at HOSHAS Temerloh. She was a small baby weighing only 2.9kg and 52cm in length.

Post op, the entire day I was groggy and I vomited so many times. I couldn't open my eyes, not even to look at my baby. They must have sedated me or it was the morphine inside the intrathecal injection  or the tramal they gave me.

HOSHAS has a weird policy. They didn't allow any caretaker to stay with patients at night. So the first night I became a mother, despite the terrible dizziness, I had to change my daughter's diaper and feed her. I did it. So proud of myself. I guess I am ready to be a mother afterall. Haha.

Meet my baby, Lily Aaira Binti Azhar

Look at that mark under her left eye. That is a forcep mark. It is supposed to go away. But until today the mark is still there. She is now 5 weeks old.

Lily at Day 43 of life

Mummy loves you so much Lily.

Mummy prays you will grow up healthy and well. 

Mummy prays you will be an easy baby to care for and people around you will love you as much as mummy does. 

Mummy prays no harm will fall on you and no one will break your heart ever. 

Mummy prays for Allah to always look after you and keep you safe. 

Mummy prays for you to be anak solehah yang berakhlak mulia. 

And mummy prays for mummy and daddy to be good parents to you Lily. 

Photo taken on 1st Syawal. Our first raya as parents. 

Pregnant at 38 weeks

I am 38 weeks 1 day pregnant today. 

2 more weeks to go. I really hope Little L will be delivered on 1st June 2019. 




Mummy can't wait to see you Little L.

Third trimester, especially after the 36 weeks has been challenging for me.

I flew back from Sabah just a few days before I entered 36 weeks because of airline rule that only allows expecting mothers to fly latest by 36 weeks POA. Azhar sent me back to my Mom's house and then he left me here all alone. I miss him badly. I have gotten used to being pampered by him that when he is not around, things just don't feel right.

My pregnancy has been a breeze until at 36 weeks POA where I started to have right lower back pain. It is painful when I walk or move my right lower limb. There were days when the pain was so unbearable, I cried. Initiating steps after sitting or when I get out of bed every morning is when the pain is at its worst.

I think the pain originates from the sacroiliac joint. I must have injured a ligament or something. It is a common thing in pregnancy, due to hormones relaxin which causes all ligaments to become lax.

I told my ANC doctors and nurses but they seem not to bother much about it. They only told me to take PCM if needed.

https://www.coreconcepts.com.sg/article/posterior-pelvic-pain-sacroiliac-joint-pain-in-pregnant-women/

I have all the symptoms described above. Hope the pain will go away after delivery.

Apart from the back pain, I also have some sort of insomnia. It is so hard to fall asleep at night, despite defusing lavender and gentle baby essential oils in my room. Partly because I cannot find a comfortable position to sleep. The heartburn and reflux don't make sleeping any easier either.

I know all pregnant ladies experience these symptoms especially in late third trimester. I am not complaining. I am actually thankful that God has given me the chance to conceive and insyaAllah I'll be a mother very soon. Writing it all here so that in future, I can recall what pregnancy feels like.

I will definitely miss being pregnant, feeling the baby move inside my tummy, as if talking to me and telling me stories. I love that the most  :)

Little L

I am pregnant! Alhamdulillah.

Now I am at 26 weeks. I am due on 01.06.2019.

I found out I am pregnant back when I was still in Ipoh, a month before my transfer to Semporna. It was an accidental finding.

I was being referred to a gynae for a cyst in my abdomen, detected by my friend, Irma when I went for scan (for fun) at her new clinic. The concern that time was if the cyst is malignant. Alhamdulillah, it is not. It is just an endometrioma.

During the gynae scan, apart from the endometrioma, they also saw, not only one but two gestational sacs. One was in the uterus and the other one was an ectopic. The proper term for it is heterotopic pregnancy. This condition is very rare in a spontaneous conception. Usually occurs in IVF.

When I found out I have heterotopic pregnancy, I entered a state of emotional confusion. I wanted to be happy for being pregnant but I was so scared of the complication of ectopic pregnancy. I was an anesthesiology MO back then, so I saw a lot of cases where the ectopic ruptures and bleed. The fact that I was alone in Ipoh as Azhar was in Sabah and family is in Pahang didn't make things any easier.

For 1 month after the diagnosis (and prior to my transfer to Semporna), I went for weekly TVS scan. Alhamdulillah (again) the ectopic began to shrink until it reached 0.6 cm.

I have not shared much on my pregnancy. In the first trimester, I was still scared that something might go wrong and I will lost the baby. Now I am in my second trimester, going to enter the third trimester soon and I feel ready to share with the world.

Meet my unborn (yet) child.
This was Little L when he/she was just 6 weeks old

My first trimester was not so bad. I could still eat, a lot. I vomited each time I enter a toilet though, no matter how clean the toilet is. I had terrible headache and became so exhausted in the evening. Apart from that, I had nothing to complaint. Lucky me!

This is the latest scan of Little L. See how much he/she has grown :)
Mummy loves you baby. 

I began to feel quickening at 24 weeks. At first it felt like there was a snake moving inside my tummy. I was not sure what sensation it was. After a week, it started to feel more obvious. The movement was bigger and stronger as the baby grows more each day. Sometimes Little L hit my bladder and I have the sudden urge to pee. Sometimes Little L makes repetitive movement. I like to think that Little L is actually trying to tell me something, like "Mummy I'm hungry, go eat now". LOL. Azhar tries to feel the movement but so far, he has no luck.

It is a privilege to be the only person who gets to feel the baby's movement inside the uterus. This is a gift God has given to all mothers.

I hope the rest of the pregnancy will go on smoothly. I pray for easy and uncomplicated delivery as well. And Little L is born healthy. 

I need Little L to come out exactly on the EDD, 01.06.2019. 

To all of you reading this, please say a little prayer for me.

Another New Year

Hello  2019.

2018 has left me a lot of memories.

I got married in April, went for a beautiful honeymoon in Gili Trawangan in May, found out I am pregnant in September and I moved to Semporna in October.

Another wonderful memory is receiving the key to my first house in June 2018. I was so happy and proud.

Trip to Sabah in January to celebrate Azhar's birthday.
We went island hopping and hiked to the peak of Bohey Dulang

In February, went on a trip to Penang with best friend from STF, Yuyu

Organized Thiru's bridal shower, had it at my favorite cafe in Ipoh, the ninety one cafe

The bridesmaids for Thiru's reception dinner in Cameron Highlands

We performed during Thiru's reception, danced to a famous hindi song, Kala Casma

My own bridal shower by BFF from Uni. It was a total surprise.

Another bridal shower by my Ipoh Clan

Bridal shower and also Gea's birthday celebration with my cousins

Solemnization 28th April 2018

Wedding recpetion in Mentakab, 29th April 2018

Honeymoon in Gili Trawangan.
We were lucky we got to visit the beautiful island before it was destroyed by the earthquake

Had a good time staying at Santan Gili Private Villa

Syazwani's engagement in April

Received the key to my first house on 19th June 2018

Yammini's wedding in Teluk Intan

Dini's Wedding in KL

We went to Terengganu for Dini's wedding reception

Attending a wedding together for the first time as husband & wife

Azhar came to Ipoh to celebrate my birthday

The first time my family visited me in Ipoh throughout my 5 years there

Our last meet up, saying goodbye to them as I was going to move to Semporna

Farewell by my Ipoh clan

Farewell lunch at Anaest department HRPB where I worked for 5 years plus

Last punch out at Hospital Ipoh 

29th Nov 2018. The day I left Semenanjung  

Syazwani's solemnization, 22nd Dec 2018

 

Syazwani's wedding reception in Grand Dorsett Subang, 23rd Dec 2018

Met Hidayah at the reception, look at her baby bump!

I was depressed for 1 month when I moved to Semporna. Everything is different here. I miss my friends and family terribly. I miss the facilities that are just a drive away back in Ipoh and KL. I miss my usual food. 

But now, I am totally fine. 

Looking forward for a wonderful year ahead. I am going to be a mother soon. Wish me luck!

2019 please be good to me :-)

My sanding, 29 April 2018

Here's the second part of my wedding.

Wedding reception, 29.4.18, Dewan Sekolah Hwa Lian.

Pelamin by Ckin Anggun

For the reception, I took full package from Ckin Anggun. A bridal boutique located in Mentakab. At first I wanted a pelamin from a bridal boutique in Jerantut but they were fully booked on my date. It turned out that that was the best decision. Since I don't live in Mentakab and rarely I got to go home to settle the wedding stuff, having the boutique nearby really made things a lot easier. I had to go there multiple times for fitting and adjustment of my wedding outfit. 

I decided to wear songket, have always wanted to wear one for my wedding. I opted for sewa baru, which means for an additional RM500 they made me a pair of new attire (the groom included) but I have to return the clothes back after the wedding. 

I was quite frustrated with my attire. I showed the lady the design that I wanted, but instead of doing what I wanted, they stitched the beautiful songket into a peplum. Of all designs in the world, peplum is my least favorite. After some alteration, I settled with what I had (not that I had any other choice).

Beautiful red roses hand bouquet by @the3r_

I love my inai!  Henna by @suhanayan

Qisya and Hana, my flower girls. They look so adorable in their lace dress

My cousin, Syazwani was my pengapit on that beautiful day. 

And here are my gorgeous bridemaids

DIY-ed the bridesmaids' hand corsage

The AKJs wore fuschia. It was such a beautiful, happy colour. 

Ira, my sister was the emcee of the day

Ayah giving his speech in a very laid back, casual way

Here comes the bride .....

I wanted to give food as doorgift. I had this notion that if I give food, they will be consumed and would not be left aside collecting dust somewhere in the house. 

So I chose the traditional kuih bahulu. I had the bahulu box customized by Dakwat Digital, a printing company in Shah Alam while the bahulu itself was ordered from a lady in Temerloh.

My wedding cake was from @wander_baker. Apart from baking, she works as a doctor. A doctor who bakes. How awesome is that! Her cake was not only pretty, but delicious. 

I would like to thank everyone who worked hard for my wedding, especially my parents, sisters and close relatives. I am also very grateful for my friends who attended the wedding; they came from all over Malaysia, near and far. Their presence really meant a lot to me.

Here are more photos from my wedding reception

The in-laws

Wo tersayang

Faking it, LOL

Love you!

AKJ : Aunties & Uncles

AKJ : the cousins

everyone